Today, I sit here in a comfy chair. There are flowers in a vase in front of me. I am sipping decaf coffee with the hopes of quitting the caffeine bandwagon altogether one day. I am living in a community of artistic, spiritual and beautiful people. Overall, I am grateful. Grateful to be here. Grateful for love. Grateful for support and understanding. Grateful for the cradle I have landed in during a time of serious transition.
Underneath the comfortable nest that I have fallen into, there is a deep and vast ocean. I am holding incredible darkness while I am here. My health has started to fail me. I learn that these issues can no longer be ignored. I am in pain because of them. I am uncomfortable. I feel drained. I work in house keeping and the amount of tasks that I have to do throughout the week seem insurmountable. I am left feeling tired with no time to tend to myself or my health needs. I wonder if this is an excuse. There is always time. But the food here is not organic, I am not getting enough protein because we don't cook local meat. I have bills and debt that continue to pile up and I am not getting paid here so I am not sure how to make these expenses. I would like to afford herbs, good meat, organic food...but my budget does not allow for this. I have long term goals that seem so far away. My immune system is down. I am sensitive to any sort of cold that travels here from the people that come to the retreats. I have a list of house keeping tasks ahead of me and my body just says no. I feel no desire to work, but I have to. I feel defeated.
Here's the thing. I have learned the magic of flow. I have learned that you can complain all you want and the Law of Attraction will continuously grant you with that feeling of longing and complaining. It won't get you out of it. I know what I am doing. I am wanting fast results. I am wanting this pain to just go away. I am wanting to be anywhere else but where I am. I am wanting to run, to get out of it. I am not used to feeling this icky feeling and I want it to just get off of me. I feel frustrated. I came to this community after facing my shadow self and I am just waiting for her to leave. I came here after crisis, but it just seems to linger. When can I be healthy? I want love, I want energy and I want to be healthy!
I need change. Big change. In order for big change however, I have to pair things down. I have to simplify. What are my needs? How can I get them? What action is needed in order for me to tend to my needs? I need to become aligned with my higher self and my heart center. Why am I here right now? What can I do in the present that will serve me right now in this moment and therefore...in the future? The future is right now!
Manifestation:
There are a few factors that need to happen in order to manifest your desires.
1. Gratitude: You have to be thankful that you are already receiving the guidance and alignment needed to achieve your dreams
2. Patience: By surrendering into flow, your desires are able to come to you more quickly.
3. Being with the feeling of already achieving them.
These factors allow the flow to come to you. You have to surrender. Surrender into the pain. What do you need right now?
Blessings*