Over the past year a lot of change has occurred in my life bringing me back to my hometown, rekindling old friendships, and leading me to live a quiet life in the woods. For the most part the change has been good, but, along with great change comes the shedding old ways and stepping into uncharted territory. For me, stepping out of my comfort zone entailed secluding myself to take some time to look at my fears and the demons that lurked beyond the surface. At first this was terrifying but over time the process of getting to know all sides of myself became like a forgotten book. I started to remember what made me happy as a child and realized that not much had changed. That I was just forced into this ever-changing body that was shoved into society and told to make it work. I worked a few jobs, 'saved' while I lived at home and became extremely bitter. It dawned on me only recently that I was playing into the life that had already been set out for me. I was supposed to feel bitter. I was supposed to make money and then feel completely stressed about the jobs I was working at everyday. I was supposed to hide myself in my room at night and drink a bottle of wine. Yes folks, this is what stimulates consumerism. I consumed alcohol, material, relationships, self-soothing remedies and this lifestyle consumed me. I bought into things that would make me feel better. Don't get me wrong...I still do. Today I spent the $20 I had been religiously saving for something...and I spent it at a thrift store. I have to get rid of clothes....I always have too many damn clothes...
The point is that we forget about what makes us happy, and that it is different for everyone. Sometimes it takes a hell of a long time to figure it out, but its usually always there, we just forget. We forget because the world is too big, the demands are too much, the people are too loud and our brains are too fast. Now, if we learn to tune in to the rhythm of our souls AND tune out the noise of others, I believe that is where we find our happiness. We knew who we were and what we wanted as children because we just DID things. Our brains weren't fully developed so we followed our hearts and let our spirits run wild. It didn't matter if we spent the whole day drawing and playing...we loved it.
We also have incredible darkness just as we have light. For some there is more dark than light. What I have learned is that my darkness makes me WHOLE. I am made up of both light and dark and the path to loving oneself is to accept both sides and realizing that they make you who you are....a little rough around the edges, maybe scarred but... REAL.
What I am getting at is the fact that most of us have the opportunity to live freely. We have free will. Our destiny is those moments where we feel totally in tune with our intuition. Our destiny is who we were when we were young and how we learned to LOVE. We lived and loved beyond no measure. The thing about being an adult is that it gives us the skills to take this childlike spirit and use it to live out our passions as an authentic, conscious and balanced human being.
The point is that we forget about what makes us happy, and that it is different for everyone. Sometimes it takes a hell of a long time to figure it out, but its usually always there, we just forget. We forget because the world is too big, the demands are too much, the people are too loud and our brains are too fast. Now, if we learn to tune in to the rhythm of our souls AND tune out the noise of others, I believe that is where we find our happiness. We knew who we were and what we wanted as children because we just DID things. Our brains weren't fully developed so we followed our hearts and let our spirits run wild. It didn't matter if we spent the whole day drawing and playing...we loved it.
We also have incredible darkness just as we have light. For some there is more dark than light. What I have learned is that my darkness makes me WHOLE. I am made up of both light and dark and the path to loving oneself is to accept both sides and realizing that they make you who you are....a little rough around the edges, maybe scarred but... REAL.
What I am getting at is the fact that most of us have the opportunity to live freely. We have free will. Our destiny is those moments where we feel totally in tune with our intuition. Our destiny is who we were when we were young and how we learned to LOVE. We lived and loved beyond no measure. The thing about being an adult is that it gives us the skills to take this childlike spirit and use it to live out our passions as an authentic, conscious and balanced human being.